U.S. Government officials are scrambling to determine how Chinese hackers managed to use Google to search for information on the F-35 Lightning II Program. Authorities are mystified at the amount of details the Chinese have been able to glean from Google. "Terabytes, even petabytes of data have been sifted. I was just enjoying Moo Goo Gai Pan and I got the news. First Iraq with their yellow cake, now China with their Black Soy Sauce" said an anonymous official so high up in the Air Force that we can neither confirm that either he or even the United States Air Force exists.

"They're all over the place. Like little roaches in the Chinese Take Out restaurants in NYC. Little Chinese. And they're hacking. Our logs tell us they've been visiting: http://www.jsf.mil/gallery/gal_video.htm looking at videos, downloading all of the information we make available to the world. Sure we can stop it, but why should we. It's America. Besides, we're not allowed to implement firewall policies" stated another high ranking anonymous official at an agency we can't even name.

"We're looking into ways that we can raise our defenses here. We're losing a war. A horrible cyberwar. This makes WWII look like a day at DisneyLand. Forget nukes, its all Pentiums with a Centrino here and there and we believe that even those are clones. Chinese clones at that." stated an official who spoke under the condition of anonymity citing national security reasons.

Air Force Officials will neither confirm nor deny that they are in talks to replace the Google toolbar download link with a clone for anyone downloading the toolbar from China. "It's a long shot. Maybe if we replace Google with Moogle [1], they'll think they're downloading some Final Fantasy little character and we'll be secure", "It's our best bet... MoogleToolbarSecurity" stated (obviously) an unnamed source.

Moogles are small creatures that appear throughout several Square Enix game series, including the Final Fantasy series, the Seiken Densetsu series, the Chocobo game series, and the Kingdom Hearts series. The Japanese name is a portmanteau of the Japanese words mogura (mole) and k.mori (bat).

Moogles have small eyes and red, pink, or purple bat-like wings. A single black antenna sticks up from their heads, with a small colorful ball (usually red or yellow or blue) at the end called a "pompom". Their ears are usually shaped like a cat's and their fur is white or light pink.

While no one has any idea whatsoever at the kind of connection the Chinese may have used to download terabytes worth of data at a time, undetected, officials at MUFON [2] speculate the Chinese are actually Roswell remnants using a new technology, possibly IPv8, capable of downloading content so fast, the connection doesn't even appear in any log entry. We believe they're using Ghettobuntu

Infiltrated Network News has obtained an official release from an unnamed agency by an anonymous high ranking official speaking under the condition of anonymity under the guise of national security directives.

"As you can tell by our redacted declassified FOIA request, it's very serious and there are known reasons for us to be alarmed. This is an invasion of our country and we can't stand around while terabytes of data gets downloaded under our noses, without being detected, via Google, from this new IPv8 threat." stated an anonymous two star general who was carrying the Air Force's fiscal year budget request. As he walked into senate hearings on the threat, he repeated for us to remain vigilant and watchful. "We don't make these things up you know. There are rumors rampant on the Internet that the U.S. Government is 'making things up' and I can assure you, we did not make the Chinese up. They've [China] been there for thousands of years. Now you may or may not recall, but in 2006 Maj. Gen. William Lord, Director of Information Services and Integration in the Air Force Office of Warfighting Integration, said that China had transferred 10 to 20 terabytes of data from the Pentagon's nonclassified network. [3] That was then. Our budget was shot down and now we notice they're [China] at it again. And they have this top secret IPv8 technology." stated a visibly shaken unnamed official speaking under the condition of anonymity, shedding visible tears, who stood humbly asking for the American public's support.

"Some may shrug this off, but I can tell you it's real. I read the classified documents which quote an anonymous source from an unnamed news agency speaking out under the whistle blower protection act under the pretense of national security. How much more proof do you need" stated the two star. Politicals officials are unsure if they will be able to cover the Air Force's budget requests citing "No AutoMaker Left Behind", "No Banking_CEO_With_A_Huge_Bonus Left Behind", "No Political Contributor Left Behind" requests making their way around congress like a collection plate at a church.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Races_of_Final_Fantasy#Moogle
[2] http://www.mufon.com/
[3] http://government.zdnet.com/?p=3416

A bit aside from networking/encryption breaches, one of my hobbies has been for the last twenty years, computer flight simulation. In this niche, I have been truly appalled with the amount of what I assumed at the time was classified information being revealed in some of these simulations. Having worked at GD directly on the F-16 Block 50 program, Stinger and Sparrow Missile Programs and Phalanx Gun Systems, I can state that anyone interested in performance or operational specifications of the F-16, its radar, its guidance and navigation systems only needs to purchase Falcon 4.0 or Falcon 4.0 Allied Forces.

I just picked up a Russian Helicopter Simulation for the KA-50 Black Shark, which is, chocked full of technical specifications; whether classified or unclassified I do not know. This type of release of information has to be a wealth of knowledge for any nation interested in the latest aircraft performance and specification, regardless of whether friend or foe. This is apparently a two way street, as I have very detailed simulations, both cockpit and flight performance and dynamics for the JSF-35 as well as the Russian KA-50.

I can say having participated in this simulation genre for twenty years that a good portion of the information released through this mechanism comes from both active and retired U.S fighter pilots, who are apparently not concerned with the release of classified information when giving details about instrumentation, performance, or specifications on the aircraft they have flown. Most simulation manufacturers advertise the information included in the simulation came directly from those who flew the aircraft. A good example of this is the new release of the F/A-18 SuperBug for Microsoft Flight Simulator, which advertises to be the "most accurate and complete" example of a current U.S. fifth generation fighter, for computer flight simulation.

I am certainly sure none of these simulations are inspected or subject to any security oversight by any government agency before release to the public. There was some U.S. Government concern over a nuclear powered U.S. Attack Sub published by Jane's and MicroProse back in the 80's, called i688, where certain government agencies went ballistic over its release and some of it's "game" published specifications, and the simulation ceased publication and no further efforts were made to update it, or release a future version.

In conclusion, any nation interested in flight performance, radar specifications, or design characteristics of any U.S. Aircraft only needs to purchase our flight simulation software and incorporate what they have managed to garner from other covert sources, and they would have what they need to know, courtesy of our U.S. based game programmers and retired fighter pilots.

So, why bother to steal this stuff when we will happily give it to anyone with thirty-dollars.